Here is a pic of me wearing the new Curvy Kate Moonlight Black Bikini Top about 2-3 weeks ago, I have a habit of once I get a new item of throwing it on and taking a pic of it. It’s not the most flattering pic as I’m kneeling down to get into the mirror frame but you get the idea, it’s me in a bikini top and I’m about to tell you why this is so rare.
I’ve been swimming 3 times since this pic was taken and ever since I got the bikini top I’ve had a massive urge to just wear the bikini top and bottoms with no singlet top over it and go swimming, I haven’t worn a bikini in probably 20 years or so and I just love this, it’s so comfy that it almost makes me want to throw all my bras out and wear this all the time….almost.
Each time I’ve gone to the pool I have been to shy to just wear the bikini on its own because I am a plus size woman who doesn’t have a flat stomach & have worried about ‘making people feel uncomfortable’ so I’ve worn a singlet top in the pool. There is a part of me that it isn’t too worried though as I do swim in just briefs and no board shorts, so my swimming outfit used to be a tankini with briefs, not the usual ‘plus size swimming attire’.
One of these ‘singlet top’ swimming trips was last week with a bunch of guys who I used to play Xbox with who I’ve only recently re-united with after a few years and who I have an absolute blast with. These guys are younger than me and are also not in the same size category as me, before hand I found myself pre-warning one of them that when I go swimming I don’t wear board shorts so my big fluro white thighs are on display and are you ok with being seen with me? Looking back on that I do find it sad that I felt the need to pre-warn someone about showing some skin but they were fine with it and told me I was being stupid, I actually liked hearing that.
We met up with 2 others (who I hadn’t had a chance to pre-warn about my lack of board shorts eek) and it became the moment of truth, jacket and towel off and it was swimming time. I can proudly say (aww) that the guys didn’t have a problem being seen with me or my reflective white thighs, if they did it wasn’t said to my face and we even got out of the pool together, walked over to the sauna, walked over to a steam room and then sat in a spa and then had to walk back to get my towel when it ended, that’s a lot of walking around in an exposed outfit. They don’t know it but them being normal with me at a time like that meant the world to me and I’m already lining them up to do it all again this week
So after my confidence boost late last week I went to the pool last night by myself and once again I put on the bikini top at home to get ready and I still had this niggling feeling of wanting to be able to wear a bikini on its own in the pool. I arrive and it was an hour before closing with not many people around and the hydro pool was empty, so I thought “Screw it I’m doing it” and as I’m about to rip off my singlet top a teenage boy walked into the area and jumped into the hydro pool…..crap. So I stood around ‘fixing my bag’ and decided to stall to see if he was just warming up, went to the bathroom and came out and it looked like it worked as he was starting to get out of the pool. So I thought if you don’t do it now you’re never going to do it! So with my back turned to him I ripped off the singlet top and walked very fast to the pool and……predicted the teens moves wrongly, he was still in the pool! So I dropped my goggles and water at the pools edge and walked into the pool as he then got out and then I worried as he spent the next 10-15 minutes in the bathroom….I slightly feared I had traumatized the poor kid.
I proceeded to swim into the middle of the pool and there was a sense of freedom, joy and light weighted-ness as I had done something I’d never done before and I wasn’t being weighed down by extra clothing, seriously it is the main reason why I don’t wear shorts, do you know how heavy plus size shorts are in the water? I’ve swam without shorts and in a tankini before but this was completely swimming in just a bikini top and high-waisted briefs and you know what, I liked it.
I enjoyed my hour workout in the pool, I had my waterproof mp3 player on so I could ignore the world and have my stomach bouncing up and down in my own hydro pool without a care in the world…..that is until I had to get out of the pool lol. I found myself starting to walk up the pool stairs quite fast but once I was out I paused and then just walked over to my towel at a normal pace, dried off, thanked the pool staff as I left who still looked me in the eye and went home happy that I could cross swimming in a bikini in public off some list that hasn’t actually been created but you know what I mean.
Sure the odd people who were left at the pool might have said something to each other about me (its human nature, we talk and discuss things that we see) but I did come out of the experience pretty much un-scathed, not to sure I can say the same for the teenage boy who hid in the bathrooms, but I found it wasn’t a negative experience. The staff still treated me the same, one lil kid saw me and he didn’t freak out. I imagine the pool staff were a bit shocked but also saw that I was in the pool exercising trying to make my weight situation better, I wasn’t strutting around or sunbathing thinking I looked sexy, people saw me as someone who was probably a little crazy and someone with some strange confidence that allowed them to walk around in a bikini and wishing that they could do the same.
When I first heard that Curvy Kate were releasing bikinis up to an 18K/40K I was a little surprised and then saddened at my first opinion/reaction, I thought why is someone who is going to be a size 16 or 18 going to want to wear a bikini, shouldn’t they just stick with a tankini? Don’t worry I slapped myself over the wrists for it, while swimming in the pool I was going over the same thought and I came up with the conclusion that sure it isn’t ideal for someone of that size to be in one but gee its really bloody nice for once to actually have the option to choose whether I want to wear a bikini or not instead of having society/brands decide which sizes below a 16/18 can wear one. So thankyou Curvy Kate for letting me, a plus sized woman have that option.
Would I do it again? I’m not sure, I currently don’t have the desire to do it again now that I’ve done it because I know it can be done, I won’t be doing it with my gaming guys, not because I worry about embarrassing them but because there is no need for me to do it and I will wear my singlet top later in the week when I see them again and I honestly don’t have a problem doing so.
I decided to make this into a blog, well mainly because I started typing it in a Facebook status and it just got too long, it’s not a society bashing post, it’s not a push for a plus size movement as I adore all bodies, I just wanted to share my story where I feel as though I achieved something in myself and also partially showing that not everyone is as caught up about your body as what you are yourself. Wear shorts, don’t wear a bolero over your arms, wear a colour besides black, step outside your comfort zone a little and discover that very few people have a problem with it as they are more worried about themselves and how they look.
❤ Brood
P.s. There are no links or pushes for sales/websites on this blog as this was purely a personal story blog post and not one made for advertising 
